505 is the first module I've not passed and It really disappointed me, being that I wasn't too displeased with my final book and I did feel like of all my modules this wouldn't be the one that I didn't pass.
Now as I am beginning to write this evaluation I'm worried I might not pass th second time around, which really does worry me.
Last year a few things weren't going right for me; at university and in my personal life, this isn't looking for pity but it is me acknowledging that if I'd have swallowed my pride and spoke to someone about what was going on I might not have ended getting so overwhelmed and then getting really lost then snowballing at the end of the year.
I took a much closer look at how other artists do things as well to better inform myself, usually I just go for someone who's practice I like and just say I like it then move on. This time around I took a much closer look at what some people where doing and how they were doing it. Even if it wasn't 100% for me I made sure that I took something from each person I looked at.
Snow-balling I believe is the best word for it, with the project I was never really sure where it was going or what I was actually doing with it. I just kept throwing ideas together and then just trying to keep spitting out idea after idea. I wasn't stopping to reflect on my work and what I was doing; if it was working; and who it would be for. I just kept on throwing things and hoping that they stuck. Which explains why I failed the 5A7; 5B5; 5B6 and 5D5 I never reflected on what I was creating or even really wrote much on my blog about why I was doing it. I was just making work; uploading it; making work; uploading it in a cycle when I should of been checking the learning outcomes more thoroughly.
5A7:This time around I have thought about the audience more and the social context around my work and where it fits best in the world, well in Leeds mainly and I believe I have created new and better solutions to my brief.
5B5: Social and Cultural came became more apparent to me when I started just using people in my house, It made a very diverse set starting points in the first project much more steam-lined, as well as choosing a better place to have the book launch 'Colours may vary' It made much more sense with the whole culture scene of Leeds.
5B6: The re-submissions whole point for me to find a new starting point for practical approaches to self determined ideas when I decided to have a firm starting point and game plan after what I'd learnt from my first failed attempt
5D5: Even though not been able to attend workshops over the Summer I feel, that I made the most of all the equipment I had at my disposal and I managed this project much better than usual.
I feel that with the re-submission I have taken time to look at what I'm doing and explain why I'm doing it. I was evaluating my use of colour; and drawing style and why I was taking the photos and adding the captains and how they related to where. As in last time I was just getting quotes from anywhere and then just adding them to anything this time. I set myself the task of just taking notes from people in my house. An that's the only place I could take the notes and therefore the only objects I could use were ones in my environment which makes much more sense.
I'm still worried I've not passed again, I have a bad habit of getting carried away with work and I always forget to check the learning outcomes and what IT IS I NEED TO BE DOING as opposed to what I want to be doing.
This project has taught me a lot, Even though it's not been an easy ride this year and it's still quite bumpy if I'm honest; I've had more distractions that I'd of liked in my personal life but I think I've managed to make the most of the time I had. This project has taught me more about myself and that I need to stop being so prideful and stubborn and ask for help when I need and to stop being so closed off. I've still done it for this re-submission I've had help there and I've not taken it but it's something I'm going to continue to work on.
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